Thoughts from My Mind....

WARNING! This post will be a "No Pic" post -- just a bunch of ramblings from my head...Here goes! I remember one distinct time as a child -- I don't remember the exact age, but I'm guessing elementary age -- asking my mom if she liked being a kid better or being an adult better. I distinctly remember my mom saying, "I like being an adult better." But, she said it VERY matter-of-factly, and she didn't embellish (for which now I'm grateful). I know it wasn't my mom's statement exactly, but I can very distinctly remember times throughout my childhood -- longing to be older, longing to grow up. The funny thing is -- I didn't have a bad childhood at all. My parents were married. My brother and I lived in a stable, yet not perfect (as nobody does), home. Naturually, there are "improvements" Marc & I are striving to make in our children's lives (I think most people do this). When I was in high school, I can remember several adults saying to me, "Boy -- I sure don't miss high school -- the drama, the hormones, etc." AND, of course, I distinctly remember, throughout a good portion of high school, LONGING to graduate and go to college. I'm sure my thought process was longing to get out of my parents' house, longing to be on my own (I'm fairly independent like that). Again, funny now, high school for me was not bad at all. I went to a safe, good school. I had friends, etc. etc. THEN, college arrived. The first 1/2 of college was fine. The second 1/2 was fine as well, BUT I can also remember a few older people saying to me, "Boy -- I don't miss those college days -- studying all of the time, NEVER having any money, etc. etc." I can vividly remember the second two years of college, longing to graduate and just be done with that phase of life. You might be seeing a trend by now. College was not a bad experience for me either. Other than the first year, I was not a traditional college student. I lived off campus. I worked a lot to pay rent, car insurance, etc. I managed to keep some scholarships. Combine all of that with a little bit of help with books from my parents, I managed to finish those last 3 years with ZERO debt -- and now that I'm older, am VERY grateful I took that route. But, despite college not being bad, I couldn't wait for the next phase of life. After I graduated, I got a good job within a couple of months. Around the age of 25, I was really longing to find the right person and get married. I remember having lunch with a friend one day (who was engaged at that point). She said to me, seemingly not meaning to offend or upset me, "Oh, I'm so glad I'm getting married -- I'm DONE with the dating scene." I remember thinking (but not saying aloud), "Well, that's great for you, but some of us have not yet met the right person to marry. Some of us are stillin that 'dating scene.'" I had graduated from college at the age of 22, and I didn't marry Marc until the age of 28. SO, I had 6 years of single, working-hood years. I spent 1/2 of those years, longing for the next stage of my life. At age 28, I got married to Marc. I loved getting married and being married. After 1 1/2 years of marriage, we started trying for a baby. That didn't happen right away for us. Those almost 2 1/2 years from starting to try for a baby until Luke was born, looking back now, I didn't enjoy. I was, again, longing for the next stage of life. Luke was born. We loved him (and still do love him, obviously). After another 1 1/2 years or so, we started trying for a second baby. Obviously, if you look at the age span of our kiddos, you know that didn't happen right away either. I vividly remember over the last 3 years or so, longing for that stage when we'd have another child. Kate was born last summer. While I was in the hospital (with a month early newborn who was way too sleepy to eat properly while recovering from a C-Section), somebody texted me (again, meaning no harm or discouragement), "I'm really glad I'm not in the newborn stage anymore." I remember sitting on my hospital bed thinking, "Yep, we're starting over after 4 years -- no sleep, here I come." I think I might've even shed a tear -- who knows? It's all a blur -- Ha! We know we won't have anymore kids. I often find myself thinking about all that I can do once both of our kids are in school full-time -- which will be a bit yet. At the same time, I announce fairly frequently to Marc that I will cry once Kate goes off to kindergarten. I know it's cliche, but the time with kids when they're small really does go fast. For that, I'm very grateful I stay home with them full-time right now. BUT, with all of that in mind, are you noticing a trend? I have spent virtually my entire life longing for the next stage? AND, I'm really wondering now just how much I miss in the current stage because I'm so longing for the next stage? Recently, in the last couple of months or so, I've read two different women bloggers announce just how much they love having older kids -- no more diaper bags, no little kid fits, no diapers, no bottles, etc... While I KNOW they mean absolutely no harm or lack of encouragement, it really is discouraging to those of us in that stage. It's harmless remarks like those that often put me in the "longing for the future" thought process. It's all of those people throughout elementary school, high school, college, single years, etc...that do not help my thought process. NOW, if you have done this to somebody, don't worry...I'm relatively certain I have as well. If I have done this to any of you, I deeply apologize. I seriously have started praying for God to help me with my words to other women/moms, etc....I want to encourage, not discourage. AND, I want to soak in EACH and EVERY moment with my small children right now. It's going so stinkin' fast. I LOVE hearing from older Godly moms -- they're advice, regrets, mothering tips, etc....I've been extremely blessed with a community of them at church. I am noticing a trend from many of these moms. They all seem to love my small kids and my friends' small kids. That tells me a couple of things. It tells me that as hard as life may seem right now with small kids, it's really a good stage to be in. It tells me that this stage isn't as bad as I sometimes think it is. It tells me that mothering really does matter....even when the world tells me that there is more to life than changing diapers, constantly disciplining, and time to myself at a definite premium. SO, thank you older mothers who have encouraged both myself and my friends with small kids. I pray that I have the awesome opportunity to do the same someday. And, as I already stated, I pray daily that what comes out of my mouth can be an encouragement to others, not a discouragement.